My second relationship, which produced my third child, is sick and weird, I’m sorry to say
We have talked about a million things and she’s quite bright. She is totally open to moving to Canada. But every few days, she starts to worry again, that I might be looking for one of those bleach face women that I told her I have no attraction to. It’s just nuts, but it’s what she was raised with. There are millions of women around the world who buy into this. In Ghana about 80% of women bleach their skin.
And there’s just one more thing that’s a bit weird. She was running out of data and told me that we would be out of communication for several days. The cost of data is something that I earn in 5 minutes at work. But she absolutely refused to let me pay for it and instead waited until her pay came in. The rationale is that she is not going to be one of those bought women. We talked about me come in there. I would stay in her parents home. So I asked what sort of gift I should bring and apparently there’s not much I could bring that wouldn’t appear that I am trying to buy their daughter. So I questioned her concerning what would be allowed if we were married. Would I be allowed to build them a typhoon shelter, from concrete or compressed Earth blocks? Not right away, because then it might appear but she had gotten married, in order to get her parents a new house. Nuts. They live in a beautiful spot and produced everything that a person could want on a mixed Farm that includes little rice patties and fish ponds surrounded by High Ground that grows every tropical thing. Looking at the home and land, they don’t look poor to me. But none of what they have has much cash value and it’s important for foreigners to not flaunt their wealth.
For $10,000, I could buy a nice little farm and build a house on it, so that we would have a nice place to stay when visiting in November, December and January. I asked if it would be okay to buy something like that and then allow her father and brothers to farm the extra land, since we would only need the home site https://datingreviewer.net/pl/trans-randki/. She agreed to that, but only because good land should not be wasted. Her father and mother raised 8 children and sacrificed to educate only two of them. My girlfriend and her younger sister. She pays the taxes on their land which is actually a government lease. For a relatively small amount, I could pay it off and they would have a title deed, but this would have to wait until she has been working with me in Canada, long enough that it wouldn’t be considered an inducement for her to marry me, by the community.
Time will tell. I don’t see any reason why this couldn’t work, except for the mix of jealousy and self-esteem issues. She is honest, hardworking and intelligent. And she’s completely enamored with everything about me. So I think she’s great, she thinks I’m great, and our only issue is that she’s not so sure that she is as good as I think she is. Nuts
I think I’ve gone far beyond my original plan to help a fellow out if he has no game. 🙂
I posted without taking it into consideration, our female readers. These are the photos that have caused some of the trouble. Apparently every female from 9 to 90 in the Philippines would find them much too attractive, and therefore they needed to be hidden. I’m not done yet, I still need to take off 10 or 15 pounds of fat and replace it with 10 or 15 pounds of muscle. At 54 years old, I am more muscular than when I was 25. I started this transformation 2 months ago . For most women here that would not be a problem. They would show their friends and say look my boyfriend’s looking pretty hot. But to my girlfriend in the Philippines, she thinks he’s looking pretty hot, and that’s a problem. Nuts.
It is not an easy «opt-out» getting divorced, it is not «quitting» to leave a relationship which is toxic for all concerned
I agree that helpful behavior is an important attribute in a prospective date (or mate) but it is even more important that it be REAL and not simply an assumed behavior for the purpose of attracting someone. If it is only one of a bagful of «tricks», then it is worse than useless because it is not only false advertisement but potentially damaging to any future relationship. Anyone here aged enough to remember the Eddie Haskell character on the old «Leave It To Beaver» show will appreciate what a fake personality can do for (and against) everyone involved with that person.
It’s rather tough when you’re younger to just be yourself and find happiness first, and have that calm happiness radiate out to attract others. With social media and phones/apps dehumanizing our social life even more these days it’s even tougher.
My first marriage ended with me running away, because there was no affection–it had become a business. We stay together out of obligation to the baby, while we have pretty much no affection for each other. It’s not a romantic relationship in any way, and it would have obliterated three years ago if it weren’t for the existence of our son.
I have to disagree with you – with love and sympathy
I don’t believe it is necessary, or a good example for kids, for two people to sacrifice their own happiness in order to preserve the institution of ily». I am divorced from the father of my two kids. They see him regularly and could see him far more often as far as I’m concerned, if he had the time. He and I made each other miserable. Now we are civil and respectful to each other and both pursuing lives and principles which we believe in. I believe this is a good example to set my kids. Your kids can learn from your mistakes, if they are honestly portrayed as mistakes.
If your doing something that can legitimately be a cause for starting a conversation, an interested woman may well talk to you. I used to play guitar or carve wood and found both attracted attention.
Filipinas are brought up in a completely different culture from our own. (I am from the US; born and grew up in the South.) They are tily. The traditional ones work very hard to maintain their relationships with their parents, husbands, children, siblings, etc.
As a man, if I had advice for a woman, it would be the same I gave my dples. Some will leave when they realize you aren’t putting out. Good riddance, you know what they were after and it wasn’t a long term relationship! Some won’t leave. Those may be the ones you might want to look at.